4:06 AM

I used to think that it was my job to live up to the high expectations of those around me. Each of them coming with their own set of ideas of perfection…what they thought I should be to be considered worthy.

Essentially driving me into a madhouse, that locked me away in my mind. Unable to hide, the thoughts interfered with the process of my everyday life.

Then one day…I ran away…not from them but from the pain…I decided there’s no way in hell, I’m supposed to feel this way…even if I could feel, anything.

On my journey, that began with no destination, I found deep inside… all of what I thought was missing…all the life they had taken…was presented to me, as it filled me up…I could finally see. I then, organized the puzzle and saw the bigger picture…taking the good with the bad, that comes with self-reflection…

Oh, the euphoria I felt, could have never been predicted.

Who I am, was always enough…I was never a mess to be cleaned up, but an equation much too difficult for them to solve, but I did it on my own…well, me and God…

They say what’s understood doesn’t need to be explained, but you’ll never truly know love…until you’ve first conquered pain.

Now I wake up everyday with the innate enlightenment of a child, utilizing each moment as a chance to step closer into my mental reality…the vision is so clear, I can see it over fear.

I am alive…

Who needs to GET high, when you’re THIS high?

The light within my eyes shines the path I now walk with pride, yet with humility is in my heart…and controlled curiosity in my mind. Not a thing has changed drastically, still got struggles to align…but with the knowledge of my strength, I know God will provide.

 

-RY

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