The other day someone told me that my shyness is killing me…I couldn’t help but wonder, is being shy really the equivalent to having a disease?
According to what I found when I typed in “what is a Disease” on Google search (because who walks around remembering exactly what a disease is literally considered?) A disease is “a disorder of structure or function in a human, animal, or plant, especially one that produces specific signs or symptoms or that affects a specific location and is not simply a direct result of physical injury.” When I typed in “What is shy” on the same search engine, I found that to be shy is to be “reserved or have or show nervousness or timidity in the company of other people.”
I don’t know about you, but being nervous, though it is a natural feeling that the majority of us feel at some point in our lives (but of course, all things in moderation) can not exist simultaneously with confidence. It’s in that moment you overcome the nervousness & timidity that confidence starts to come up for air after nearly drowning in your mental sea of self-consciousness.
So, being shy could be compared to being a disease. But the good news is…it’s curable. However, the even better news, it’s actually not shyness itself that is toxic, but more so the things linked to the shyness, the precursors if you will.
If you or someone you know suffers from shyness, here’s a word of advice: Stop thinking the world revolves around you! If you ask me, being shy is kind of like a form of narcissism…gone wrong. Narcissist may think they’re the center of the universe, but at least they place value on exactly who they are…in a weird, self-obsessed way. When shyness begins to consume you, you think all eye’s are on you but you think that what’s being viewed by others is inadequate. This probably stems from being judged in the past (i.e. bullying) or developing learned helplessness (i.e. repeatedly not meeting your own expectations and feeling like you’re simply not good enough and assuming you probably wont be seen as such in the eyes of others either to even bother).
The find the cure, don’t filter your uniqueness out of fear of what others will think, for you’re then depriving both yourself and the world. Be you, believe in you and take the opinions of others in stride and when need be, transform such comments into constructive criticism.
Don’t let shyness cause you to die, leaving little to nothing left behind for the world that so desperately needed YOU in full. Shyness can be both beautiful & deadly based merely on the reasons for… Know the difference and when to “snap out of it” to shine your light without fear and doubt, be it behind the scenes or center stage…or they two can kill you, while alive.
(Click here if you’re bored for more on shyness in comparison to introversion and social anxiety)